Just slice it off with your internal guillotine, and get on with your own life in your own direction. Move--get out and never communicate again for any reason. Don't even consider "working it out." Disappear and get your own life together and go on the way YOU want it. It's a loser, no-winner situation for you. If you are actually married, file for a divorce, document the very valid reasons, then don't discuss anything with her personally again for any reason, consult a lawyer. Otherwise, just disappear from her life. If you don't have children together yet, that will simplify things.
Never put up with a situation that is beyond your ability to control within your own terms of ethics, or with a partner who is not also a friend with the same ideas about life as you do. Move on.
Advice is like kissing: it costs nothing and it's a pleasant thing to do. (George Bernard Shaw)