Comic relief thread.

earthfrog · #1 (**permalink**) 09-02-2010, 05:50 PM

This is a place to go to relax and make jokes in a nice and polite way because that is what is really funny. Prior overdose of theobromine and two weeks of operant conditioning in the Lounge is highly recommended.

Go for it...

earthfrog · #2 (**permalink**) 09-02-2010, 05:56 PM

Don't try to make a joke if you are under the influence of propaganda or think animal cruelty is funny. Driving while joking is not recommended. Users or participants in random joking cannot be held liable for damage caused to the sensibility or general emotional state of other users. No legal liability for joking or offending through said jokes can be assumed or implied in the context of said 'Lounge' forum.
You assert that as a 'joker' in the 'Lounge' you will conform to the stringent guidelines thereby and limit your jokes to frog-club related statements.

OK, now go.

boabab95 · #3 (**permalink**) 09-02-2010, 06:11 PM

heres a funny poster:

earthfrog · #4 (**permalink**) 09-03-2010, 07:27 AM

Are there not any sit-down comedians in this house?

OK, here's a riddle.

Question: Why did the dart frog cross the road?

Post answers, then I'll post mine...

fleshfrombone · #5 (**permalink**) 09-03-2010, 10:08 AM

I have a warped sense of humor due to being desensitized so the things I think are funny are often shocking and/or bizarre so I'll have to refrain.

JimO · #6 (**permalink**) 09-03-2010, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by earthfrog

Are there not any sit-down comedians in this house?

OK, here's a riddle.

Question: Why did the dart frog cross the road?

Post answers, then I'll post mine...

To meet up with his girlfriend (a different morph). He had to cross at night because frog scientists all over the world had made it politically incorrect to associate with a different morph.

JimO · #7 (**permalink**) 09-03-2010, 02:39 PM

Here's one for the musicians out there

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mne shaft?

A flat miner...

Did you hear about the vulture who was boarding a flight to New York and was holding two dead raccoons? The flight attendant said, "Sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger.

A guy goes to the doc with a pain in his side. The doc puts him on the exam table, goes out and brings in a kitten, placing it on the man's chest. After a few minutes, the doc takes the kitten out and brings in a Laborador retriever, who sniffs the man a few times and leaves. The doc says, "Well, I find nothing wrong with you, that'll be $1,200. The guy exclaims, "What for!" The doc responds "$800 for the cat scan and $400 for the lab work."

I have a million of them.

RarePlantBroker · #8 (**permalink**) 09-03-2010, 03:20 PM

How do you catch a polar bear?

You go out on the ice and cut a hole. Then you place a circle of peas around the hole. When he comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice-hole.

Bcs TX · #9 (**permalink**) 09-03-2010, 04:19 PM

Here are a few from the late Mitch Hedburg:

I like cottage cheese. That's why I want to try other dwelling cheeses, too. How about studio apartment cheese? Tent cheese? Mobile home cheese? Do not eat mobile home cheese in a tornado.

I walked by a dry cleaner at 3 am, and there was a sign: "Sorry, we're closed" You don't have to be sorry, it's 3 am, and you're a dry cleaner! It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open! I'm not gonna walk in at 10 am and say "I walked by here at 3 and you were closed - somebody owes me an apology!"

earthfrog · #10 (**permalink**) 09-03-2010, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bcs TX

I walked by a dry cleaner at 3 am, and there was a sign: "Sorry, we're closed" You don't have to be sorry, it's 3 am, and you're a dry cleaner! It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open! I'm not gonna walk in at 10 am and say "I walked by here at 3 and you were closed - somebody owes me an apology!"

good one. My thanks button is broken.