What do you think about these work related problems?

Nuggular · #1 (**permalink**) 03-20-2007, 01:55 PM

Ok. So here are the two things that keep coming up at work with me. I work for my dad. Which is great. But there are 2 things that bug him enough to talk to me about it every few months.

#1 - I have to leave early from work about once a week do to the fact that I have Irritable Bowel Sydrome. My stomach just gets in these knots and the pain and agony become to much and I have to go home and lay down. I have medication for it, but it isnt some mircle pill that fixes me. So my dad gets aggrivated that I have to leave. I told him I would go get a note from the Dr. that says I have a serious medical condition, and if I need to leave and get to. But he always brushes that off. He says I should go get fixed. I cant afford the $2000 for a colanospepy right now. And thats the next step I can take. I've done everything else. It just makes me feel like shit to be told that my dibilitating condition aggravets my dad that bad. I'm sorry I cant help it.

#2 - Probably the biggest issue. My hair. My hair is shoulder length. Being a guy, I guess thats bad or something. So he gives me shit about it so I cut it off. Well, everytime I cut it off, I hate it, so I grow it back. This time I refused to cut it. I know he cant make me. By law I can have my hair anyway I want it. I refuse to conform to this crap of a society we have that judges everyone. Its like one giant highschool. I hate it. I really enjoy having longer hair. My fiance thinks I look dashing and she loves it. My dad thinks I look like a hippy. Again, that makes my feel so bad that my dad has to say stuff about my hair. It really hurt my feelings. He tried to say it looks ratty and greasy and not brushed. But I brush it everyday, its more dry looking than greasy. He just has to hurt my feelings or something. Mabye he thinks that will make me cut it.

The best part is, I dress up better than anyone in the office. I come to work in a dress shirt and dress pants everyday I work. Half the time my dad comes in in jeans and shirt with ducks and loons on it. Hell he used to wear flannel until one of his clients talked to him about wearing business casual clothes. I told him I'd come in a suit everyday if it would stop him harrassing me about my hair.

What do you guys think? This is really buggin' me.

Rambo67 · #2 (**permalink**) 03-20-2007, 02:52 PM

I cant help you with the first problem, but having hair down to my mid back i know where youre coming from. Unfortunately theres not alot you can do about it. If its company policy, youre screwed. Most places Ive worked have had shoulder length regulations, but I have always broke those, i guess its just mostly dependent on your employer. Its sad to say, but its generally old people who have a problem. I got turned down a job with a LANDSCAPING company of all places because of my hair, simply because "older clients may complain."

In the end it comes down to sacrificing something unfortunately, the job or the hair. I agree though, its incredibly sexist and unfair. A girl can cut their hair short in a "boys" style, but god forbid a guy grows his hair out lol. Talk to your dad, ask him you EXACTLY you having long hair is reducing your capabilities in your job, im sure theres no real reason, especially since your hair isnt really long.

Nuggular · #3 (**permalink**) 03-20-2007, 03:13 PM

I already said, "How does this effect my work performance" he said it doesnt. He said it just bothers him and he's worried about clients. I have personally had meetings with many clients and not one has ever had a problem with my hair. I can tell right away if someone is giving me the evil eye or treating my different because of my hair. He said he's embarrased to bring me into meetings because of my hair. I told him if a client ever says anything about my long hair, I will cut it off. But I guarantee that will never happen.

littlefrog · #4 (**permalink**) 03-20-2007, 03:22 PM

I must say that I had quite long hair at one point in my life (past my shoulders, and longer when wet), and I thought it was reasonably cool. But then I cut it all off, went to an ultra-short cut (not quite a military cut), and life was good. I can't even imagine hassling with that much hair again. Nothing beats getting out of the shower, running my hand over my head to 'fluff', and done. And summers are so much more pleasant.

Cutting your hair is part of growing up. It isn't like cutting your wee-wee off.... Unless you are Samson. So man up and get it cut. If you can't bear to do that, then at least keep it neat. If you aren't already, pull it back into a ponytail for work. A well groomed ponytail is kind of goofy looking (to me), but I wouldn't complain about it if I had employees. I can't imagine any customers complaining about it either.

Can't help with the bowels... Medication can help. A lot of people with IBS are actually suffering from a food allergy. Gluten (wheat flour) is a very common culprit, as is lactose (from milk). Try cutting one of those out of your diet for a couple weeks and see what happens. If it doens't help, try the other. You might be pleasantly surprized. Wheat allergies are a pain in the rear (everything good has wheat in it) but far better to avoid eating it than the alternative.

melissa68 · #5 (**permalink**) 03-20-2007, 03:32 PM

Nuggler,

IBS sucks. I have suffered from it time to time. You might look into modifying your diet. Another thing that contributes to it is stress. Even though you are working for your Dad and enjoy it, you obviously have stress associated with working for him or you wouldn't have posted here.

It sounds like working for your Dad is a major stressor. Have you ever thought about telling him how you feel?

melissa68 · #6 (**permalink**) 03-20-2007, 03:32 PM

What type of business is he in?

Nuggular · #7 (**permalink**) 03-20-2007, 03:40 PM

We do web design. I am the Senior Web Developer. Customers barely see me.

Quote:

Cutting your hair is part of growing up. It isn't like cutting your wee-wee off.... Unless you are Samson. So man up and get it cut.

Obviously you are on of the many brainwashed people in this world. Cutting your hair is not part of growing up. It has nothing to do with manning up. If I cut my hair, it would be more like taking it up the butt so society can look upon me with their judging eyes and be happy. Screw them. I have long hair simply because I like it. Nothing to do with age or anything else.

littlefrog · #8 (**permalink**) 03-20-2007, 03:57 PM

Heh... Actually I'm not brainwashed, just one of the many comfortable people in the world with short hair. I don't know how women stand it, much less men. To each his own.

Nuggular · #9 (**permalink**) 03-20-2007, 04:05 PM

Thats fine then. You are comfortable with short hair. I am comfortable with long hair. That's that.

And thx for the gluten idea. I was told that once before, but I didnt want to have to cut out eating everything I eat. But at this point, I will try anything. So looks like cutting out gluten is the next step for me. I already tried cutting out milk. Nothing there.

Curt61 · #10 (**permalink**) 03-20-2007, 05:35 PM

Hey, my brother has had long hair for a few years, he cut it around christmas time, and he is already starting to grow it back out, I don't think cutting your hair has to do with growing up. There are alot of adults that I know that have long hair, some look very crappy with long hair, but some look great. Your dad is right about some clients not liking long hair, but as long as it doesn't look bad, I couldn't care less how long it is.
He could just be getting on your back about those things because he is stressed out also. My mom really gets on my case on everything if she is stressed, could be the same thing going on with your dad.

Curt.